Online Dating, Forcing Serendipity
“Had dates Wednesday through Friday — need a break!”
Something happened in dating... It feels like work. In 2021, the dating dynamic is dramatically different. It’s snappy, metrified, paced. There’s a sense of churn, of performance. Interaction is less kind, more daring; stakes are lower, there’s always a next. Null shared context asks for spiel. Same jokes, same pitfalls. Viability is reduced to the efficacy of a first impression. Like forced serendipity. Drained of color and uniqueness the moment turns formulaic, patterned just like everyone else’s. The traditional dynamic wasn't straightforward but, like a jungle, wrote stories rich in diversity. In contrast, the new steamrolled dynamic is akin to a mass produced gadget, affording customization here and there but essentially one and the same.
Starting conversations at scale. (Twitter Meme)Dating app owners have it backwards, they are not making this any better, there’s no scarcity to heal here. A growing sense of compatibility and attraction is cultivated through repeated chance. Moments of serendipitous romantic connection are meant to be rare, that’s what makes them special. Genuine serendipity blossoms through real, multi-contextual involvement with the community around you. Instead, dating apps invite us to hack connection into each other's life through fiat of tap, truncating an otherwise meaningful and earnest search for the one.
Us = Me + You + People you care for.
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