A Sense of Social Function
"What do you do?"
It's one of those common questions people ask to start getting to know someone. You want to know their function. Making function the first thing you want to know, however, speaks of your sense-making priorities. The question is cold and functional, speaks of a desire (conscious, unconscious) to place people in a 'category'. It's as if you were looking for a first source of familiarity, a first way to connect this new person with your mental model of the world, so you can make sense of them.
Beyond setting a functional tone to the conversation, the question can and often backfires:
It Forces Reduction. Asking your guest to reveal their function right away places them in burden of producing not only an answer that 'fits' your mental model, but one that will also produce a positive first impression. Unless they're eager to create intrigue or lecture you into the nuance of their work, you're inviting them to compress the richness of their doings into a bland statement in the spirit of "I'm a programmer/accountant/lawyer". Calling your guest on performing reduction invites an awkward kick-off for the conversation if their answer doesn't roll off the tongue.
Not Easy on the Mind. Question risks self-defeat by being not universally enjoyable to answer. Inviting your guest to invoke their doings won't help your cause if they aren't happy or satisfied with them.
Imposes Assumptions. Furthermore, if your guest does muster a satisfactory answer, it will unduly color further appreciations by invoking stereotypes associated with the answer. Your guest may use this to gain advantage through signaling. Your guest may also not feel comfortable being placed in association with stereotypes.
When you're getting to know someone, you're giving color to a new identity in mind; asking "what do you do?" is looking for a familiar color. In America we relate to each other functionally, we look for "potential useful function" in people. We spin elevator pitches to be prepared for this question, we learn to make economic activity a first layer of identity. There are plenty of reasons making "function" a standard color palette, but these colors are mere caricatures next to the color of soul.
✎ Connection to